Defective Detectives
by Defective Detective Agency
Summary: Akiko and Elena It's back. And it's not going away! Important note before the chapter starts, please read!


Heyla, people! So, Defective Detectives is back. It was unfortunately reported by an individual who did not understand our...um...interesting personalities. You know who you are, and the rest of you know who I mean.  
  
Anywho, to show him that we won't back down, we've decided to repost one chapter at a time, and we want YOU to review so we can get back to where we were!  
  
So, read on, enjoy the times when the fic first began, and remember!  
  
BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE!  
  
Akiko and Elena's Detective Agency...With Adepts!  
  
Elena: Hey, why are YOU first?  
  
Akiko: Alphabetical order.  
  
Elena: Oh. Okay.  
  
Book I: The Whereabouts of a Mercury Adept  
  
Chapter 1: The Phone Call from Boise  
  
::it's a normal, sunny day in Idaho Falls. Okay, so it was a horrible, blustery day with snow, sleet, rain, and hail the size of golf balls all at once. But it was where Akiko, the great exaggerator, resided::  
  
Akiko: ::looking out the kitchen window:: Dang...it looks pretty bad out there.  
  
Isaac: Yup. Glad I'm not out there.  
  
Akiko: ::whining, something she does this quite often:: I bet it's REALLY nice in Boise where Elena is! ::pouts::  
  
Isaac: I'm...sure it is...  
  
::phone rings::  
  
Akiko and Isaac: ::in unison:: I'LL GET IT! ::once again, in unison:: No, I WILL!  
  
::big fight dust cloud insues::  
  
Ivan: ::strolls in reading a book, grabs the phone:: Hello?  
  
Akiko and Isaac: ::dust cloud disappears:: HEY!  
  
Ivan: Yup, sure. ::hands the phone to Akiko:: It's for you.  
  
Akiko: Yeah, duh! It's MY house!  
  
Ivan: Actually, it's your parent's house.  
  
Akiko: Yeah, but they're never here. Give me the phone! ::grabs the phone:: Hello, Akiko's Detective Agency...with Adepts! We solve any crime of any consequence with smarts and Psynergy! How can I help you?  
  
Elena: ::on the other end:: Cut my name out already, have you?  
  
Akiko: Hi, Elena! Well, you aren't here anymore! It will become Akiko and Elena's Detective Agency when you get back.  
  
Elena: And why are you always first?  
  
Akiko: Alphabetical order, and when your name is second it get's the sign of ownership.  
  
Elena: Right...  
  
Akiko: So, any special reason you called long distance from Boise?   
  
Elena: Yes, why else would I call you?  
  
Akiko: You always call me to taunt me about the weather.  
  
Elena: Well, that's funny!  
  
Akiko: SURE it is...well? How's the weather there?  
  
Elena: Perfect, but never mind the weather. Alex has gone missing.  
  
Akiko: ::looks over to couch, where Alex is sleeping:: That's because he's here, doofus.  
  
Elena: What? But my StarGate (yes, we have StarGates...hey, it isn't THAT improbable! We have Adepts, and the ex-IRC gets spaceships and lightsabers, we can have StarGates!) hasn't been activated for the past three days.  
  
Akiko: ::opens the fridge, peers inside:: So? He CAN warp, you know.  
  
Elena: No, I'm sure he didn't! He would have said something, at least!  
  
::static from the other end, Jenna's voice comes on the line::   
  
Jenna: ::sounding worried:: Akiko?  
  
Akiko: Hi, Jenna. Wassup?  
  
Jenna: ::bursts into noisy tears, she doesn't cry very gracefully:: ALEX IS GONE! If he was visiting you I'm SURE he would have told me! Or called you! Or something!  
  
Akiko: True...he didn't call me...and he always does...but that doesn't mean anything! Alex is sleeping on my couch!  
  
Jenna: ::teary:: Are you sure?  
  
Akiko: Fine! Fine! ::covers mouthpiece:: Ivan, Mindread!  
  
Ivan: ::grumbling:: Doesn't say please...probably won't say thank you...::stalks over to Alex and casts Mindread::  
  
Isaac: Wow! Does he sit and roll over on command, too?  
  
Akiko: Isaac, shut up.  
  
Alex: ::jumps to his feet:: What are you doing?  
  
Ivan: Casting Mindread.  
  
Alex: ::eyes narrow suspiciously:: Why?  
  
Ivan: 'Cause Akiko told me to.  
  
Alex: And why did Akiko tell you to?  
  
Ivan: 'Cause Jenna wanted her to.  
  
Alex: And why did Jenna-  
  
Akiko: Okay, that's enough of that. Alex, we think you're a fake. So, 'fess up already.  
  
Alex: ::evil laughter:: So, you figured out our little plan, have you?  
  
Akiko: ::into the phone:: It's an imposter!  
  
Elena (who apparently stole the phone back from Jenna): HA! I KNEW it!  
  
Akiko: Well, what do I do now?  
  
Elena: You have two Adepts, moron! Detain him!  
  
Akiko: Okay...Isaac, use Growth!  
  
Isaac: Hey, I'm not Ivan! I don't follow orders!  
  
Akiko: ::puppy dog eyes:: Please?  
  
Isaac: Ah, okay. :::casts Growth::  
  
Evil Imposter Alex: ::jumps out of way:: HA! You'll never catch me! ::jumps through the living room windows (the kitchen, dining room, and living room are basically one room in my house) and runs off into the horrible weather::  
  
Isaac: I'm not going after him.  
  
Akiko: I'm not, either. Sorry, Elena, he got away.  
  
Elena: ::sarcastically:: Greaaaaaaaaaat...well, I have to go, I think my  
  
minutes on this card are almost up. See ya!  
  
Akiko: Bye. ::hangs up the phone:: Okay, we need a plan.  
  
Isaac: Who cares? It's an imposter Alex, how much damage can he possibly do?  
  
~*in down town Idaho Falls, which suspiciously looks like Tokyo which is odd because down town Idaho Falls hasn't changed much since...forever. But "Tokyo" had to be destroyed at least ONCE in this fic, if not more! It IS the Match Stick City, after all!*~  
  
::Evil Imposter Alex is going on a rampage::  
  
Man in Suit: The horror! The HORROR!  
  
A Lady in a Pink Dress: ::screams::  
  
A Freak Drinking Coffee (also known as "Bobbins"): ::sip:: Hmm...he just took out Great Harvest with a bunch of ice. Looks like a job for Akiko and Elena's Detective Agency...with Adepts! ::turns on cell phone, dials::  
  
~*Back at Akiko's House  
  
Ivan: Akiko's PARENT'S house.  
  
Akiko: Will you shut up?*~  
  
Isaac: Man, that Evil Imposter Alex did a number on those windows.  
  
Akiko: I hope my parents don't come back any time soon...  
  
Ivan: Yeah, that would be kind of awkward. They think we're video game characters (this will be explained...later!).  
  
Akiko: No kidding.   
  
::phone rings::  
  
Ivan: ::grabs it before Akiko and Isaac can fight:: Hello? Yup! ::hands it to Akiko:: It's for you.  
  
Akiko: It's ALWAYS for me. ::takes phone:: Akiko's Detective Agency...with Adepts! We solve any crime of any consequence with smarts and Psynergy! How can I help you?  
  
Bobbins: ::on the other end:: Akiko? What about Elena?  
  
Akiko: She's not here! She's in college!   
  
Bobbins: Oh, yeah.   
  
Akiko: So?  
  
Bobbins: Some evil psycho just destroyed Great Harvest with big chunks of ice.  
  
Akiko: It must be Alex.  
  
Bobbins: What? I thought he was sort of a good guy!  
  
Akiko: He is! It's an evil imposter Alex!   
  
Bobbins: Oh, that makes sense.  
  
Akiko: Downtown Great Harvest, huh? Alright, we'll be there! ::hangs up:: Okay, guys, time to load in the old jalopy!  
  
Isaac: But I hate your car! It smells funny when you go to fast and it jerks when you shift gears and it makes really loud noises when you're in first!  
  
Akiko: Deal with it, this is an emergency! Let's go!  
  
***  
  
Alright, I hope you enjoyed this as much as you did the first time we posted it. We will continue to post chapters, one every Friday. Unless we get a lot of reviews...and then we might make an exception. ^_^ Review! Let's show certain people that we won't be beaten 


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